me

(no subject)

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used
it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was
the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new
white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to
berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming
a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended
up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse.

I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it
just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket,
I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach, and to my
surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact,
the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday
told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative, and then
my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered
a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without
being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such
a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to
the Hefty bag people...
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
me

(no subject)

i want to go dancing. swing dancing. and party dancing. like homecoming/prom/winter formal type dancing. really badly. someone wanna come with? i don't really know where we could go...
me

(no subject)

If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once. You get eaten only once, too. It takes four minutes to get hard, and only two minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!

teehee!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
me

(no subject)

I'm so in the mood for eggnog right now.

Too bad it only comes out at holiday time.

Anyone know how to make it????
  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy
me

(no subject)

oh right.

when i said if you want to know what sucks you should ask, i meant you should im me. that would be the best plan.

or call me.
on the cell 554*3267
  • Current Mood
    blank blank
me

(no subject)

we like to party.
we like, we like to party.
we like to party.
we like, we like to party.

too bad i have to party alone.

argh.

this sucks.
and if you want to know what it is that sucks, you should ask.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
me

to my mommy

You Were There
You were there when we took our first steps,
And went unsteadily across the floor.
You pushed and prodded: encouraged and guided,
Until our steps took us out the door...
You worry now "Are they ok?"
Is there more you could have done?
As we walk the paths of our unknown
You wonder "Where have my children gone?"
Where we are is where you have led us,
With your special love you showed us a way,
To believe in ourselves and the decisions we make.
Taking on the challenge of life day-to-day.
And where we go you can be sure,
In spirit you shall never be alone.
For where you are is what matters most to us,
Because to us that will always be home...
  • Current Mood
    pleased pleased
me

(no subject)

are you sexy? by jeska
your name
do YOU think you are?
male/female?
on a scale from 1-10 you are a10
other people say you areperfect the way you are
your sex appeal will last tilMay 13, 2062
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!


hmmmm, how 'bout it?
  • Current Music
    hold on - secret garden